Elephant

"Who was the first elephant in space?"

"What are you talking about Lenny?"

"It's part of a competition."

"There never were any, Lenny. It's a trick question."

"No, it's my question."

Confusion broke out across his face like a smile gone horribly wrong.

"Look, the competition is to think of the most ridiculous quiz question you can, now are you going to help me, or am I going to have to put you in one of the questions?"

Emptied

Haven't posted in a while, so here's something:

Emptied

"Yeah mate, they've emptied it mate. Took the lot."

The officer understood.

"Do you have contents insurance sir?"

"I'm afraid that won't be necessary officer."

"Do we need to send our man from Forensics?"

"If he can get fingerprints, yes, but I don't think it will be strictly necessary."

"I don't understand sir..."

"They thought they were stealing our presents you see, only all the boxes were empty."

"Empty, sir?"

"Yes, a little trick of mine to stop the children finding out what they have. You know, shaking the box or tearing a corner of wrapping paper."

"I see..."

"I just wish I could have seen their faces..."